Identity Management (Part 2)

Hmm, after some consideration, I think I am going to continue about the different identities I have.
The fourth identity that I portray is when I am with my team mates or juniors in my sport, water polo. In this social circle of mine, as a senior, I uphold a certain degree of reputation, hence, I am treated with quite a lot of respect from the juniors especially. I am more relaxed and more of myself when I am in this circle.
The fifth one, and still counting, I am the coach for Negeri Sembilan water polo team. Well, the word coach really says it all, but in general, most people would see it that a coach would more likely be a strict and serious one. In actual fact, I have simple and basic border lines for my players. When it is time for training or competition, my players should have the utmost respect and discipline for me. But when it is out of those mentioned situations, they can treat me as a friend or as an older brother of theirs.
The sixth one, which is actually my past, I was a teacher in a private secondary high school. I was indeed very young when I started out, so young that I was only 1 or 2 years older than those doing their last year in that school when I started out. So, when it is time for classes during school hours, I take up my role as their teacher, and they do their part as my students. But when it is after school hours, when possible, we have activities together as friends. It was easier to mix around with students compare to mingling into the staffs and other teachers which most are not of my generation.
The ever last identity I can think of now, would be when I am with a girlfriend or with a girl I like and have feelings for. I think only those girls in the past that has been with me will only get to see and experience this part of me. All I can say is, I think I am really totally different when it is with a girl that I am into( I am going out with one now^^, hopefully I will be able to convince her in being my gf!). Well, when I am alone with that special somebody, basically I just try and be myself and be nice and try in my every way to show her I am sincere towards her and I am not fooling around. Should I disclose which girl it is? Haha…I guess that’s for me n her to know, and for you to find out.
By the end of the day, it is up to us to portray different identities and manage them accordingly. In my opinion, the more identities you have, the better one’s social skill is.

P/S : maybe there will be a part 3 of my identity….to be continued…………..

Identity Management (Part 1)

This is an interesting topic for me. I believe that each has at least two different identities. In general, it is the self you present when you are with your family and the self you present when you are with your friends. The wider range of friends or social circles you have, the more identities you tend to portray.
Well, it is not good to mention how others are, so it is best for me to mention this part about myself.
The first and most basic of course, is my identity as an eldest son to my parents and as an elder brother to my siblings. There isn’t much to brief on this part as most in general have this identity. Another one in common is the social self you present when you are out from the comfort zone of your family. Our society has it’s social rules, and throughout family education and school education, we are taught to go along with the rules. Those that fail in obvious ways, are often apprehended by the social rules for example the criminals or prisoners.
Moving on, the third identity I portray is as a student in college, but to me, it is quite different as I am quite old, and I am mixing around with peers that are younger than me.

Listening and Hearing

As mentioned, both listening and hearing in general seems to be alike, but lexically, they are two different things. To compare, hearing often happens with college students when they are in dull lectures or when parents starts their endless nagging. Physically they are there, but mentally their minds are wandering to other stuffs.
Moving on, listening often takes place when a close friend is disclosing or sharing their emotional events or their personal experiences.
Well, those are just some relevant examples I come up with. Bringing human communication into the picture, I found out that they are so many more types of listening or hearing, it is really an eye opener. I believe that in order to maintain a good relationship as bf-gf or friends, one should at least have a basic degree of being able to listen to what the other party has to say. When this fails, it is more likely that the relationship is a tough one to maintain.
Communication is quite hard if you lose your hearing ability. In actual, your hearing ability, is one of the senses that you are unable to control. You cannot on or off it as you desire. Constantly, you are affected by what is happening around you because of your hearing abilities. Putting it in such a way, it simply means more or less, we are somehow affected mentally or psychologically, depending on one’s tolerance.
So, unavoidable, hearing and listening plays an important part in our daily communication. One should really take some time in self reflecting whether they are a decent listener, and if not should really consider means to try and improve it.

P/S : I consider myself as quite a good listener. Do feel free to come forth and lend my ears..haha….

Brain damaging conflicts

conflicts are hard to solve..it's either you win some or you lose some... it's hard to have a win-win solution. it's sometimes make your brain "soupy" ( meaning it's squeezing or using a lot of your brain thus making it all watery) when coming up with solutions to solve conflicts.

win-lose: it is when one of you wins while the other one loses. sometimes conflicts are solved when people tend to stoop down from what they believe in just to avoid more and more conflicts or make the conflicts even worst. This happened to me and my brother. we fought over who is getting the last piece of junk food. (yes, junk food^^). i have my point on why i should have that last piece... i am older than him, skinnier than him and lastly i'm a girl!!:) that's why i should have the last piece. he too has his side of reasons why he should have the food. In the end, i ended up giving him the last piece thus, having a win- lose situation. he won-i lost.

lose-lose: when both parties lose :) For instance: my brother and i wanted to go somewhere on the the same day, at same time but different place. we are arguing on who is getting the car. None of us gave in since we felt that it is important for us to go. we argued for about an hour until our mother made the decision that none of us are going out. (in short we're both got grounded) :(

win-win: two parties win. this win-win situation is hard to achieve. i myself is having a hard time achieving this situation especially when me and my brother are fighting (yes, we fight a lot). our mom usually have solutions for my brother and i to have a win-win situation. This happened to us when me and my brother wanted to watch our own favorite show. same time same day but we only have one TV. we fought on who is going to give in so that the other one could watch his/her favorite show. In the end we both ended up watching our favorite show... its just that he watched it on replays while i watched it on the original time.

solving conflicts can be brain damaging ! ( just an expression:D) it's hard to live a life with a lot of conflicts especially when you don't know how to fix them or having someone fix them for you. Yeah, conflicts sometimes make people feel down especially when you lose or in a lose- lose situation. It is better to have an open-mind about the conflicts you're facing. Try going or asking people you trust for hep.:)

distractions in listening

listening is sometimes hard to do especially with distractions everywhere... we can't say that there are people who are actually experts in listening... there could be external and internal factors why people are having a hard time listening.

Poor listening could be the cause of lack of effort. listening takes effort to understand what people are trying to say. In class we need effort to understand what the teacher is talking about... so that when your seatmate asks you questions in class they won't hear you say... "sorry... all i hear is blah blah blah..." :D

2nd is message overload... for me i can relate this to cramming:) where you cant anymore understand things since there are too much information being fed into your brain all at the same time.

3rd is psychological noise. Psychological noise has to do with our mind. Sometimes people would think you're psychotic when you hear things they can't hear. :D

4th is physical noise. It is when we hear external noise like the noise that comes from the air conditioner...or crickets at night... the noise that surrounds us. This is sometimes annoying for some especially when you're trying to do something important thus, you want silence but you can't achieve that silence since the external noise is driving you crazy!

5th is hearing problems...no offense but i think we are most likely to relate this to elder people. where they can't even hear what you're saying so you maximize your volume but when you do that they'll get angry cause you're shouting at them... funny lol. funny experience. Not only elders but people who are born with hearing problems.

lastly is media influences. we tend to "not hear" properly what news anchors are saying since we are distracted but the mini scroll bars moving while they are speaking. I believe that it is impossible to read and listen at the same time. It's either you get more information one one side or you don't get anything at all.

People sometimes say "it's easy!! all you have to do is listen!!" this goes for some parents :)
its east to say but sometimes hard to do especially if you are not willing to do it. :)

Naughty Naughty Language :>

"Hey Brenda, your make-up sucks! Go to the toilet and fix that face, yo!"

What if you were Brenda and some guy named Jake said this to you. You'd feel offended probably. I'd feel offended and angry!!! X-( Almost every word that came out of Jake's mouth sounded so unappealing. I would appreciate his honesty, I really would, but it just gets me so angry. Who can save me now?

tun-tun-nu-nuuun!!! Euphemisms! 8D yey!

Jake made terrible mistakes on what he said. We should totally use euphemisms to fix his statement. Euphemism is the substitution of words to better sounding ones (so the other person won't get offended), but still maintain the same meaning.
ex:
Toilet--> Washroom
He's dead ---> he bought the farm
cemetery operative ---> gravedigger
Lord Voldemort ---> he-who-must-not-be-named

so yes, let us fix Jake's statement...

"Hey Brenda, your make-up sucks! Go to the toilet and fix that face, yo!"

to

"Hey Brenda, I think your make-up needs a little more pizazz! Why don't you go to the washroom and check up on it, yo?"

yey! We just saved Jake's relationship! 8D

Rock & Roll \,,/

What's Your Flavaaa? \:D/

What's Your Flava was a song by Craig David a hundred years ago.

I hate it X-( so I'm not gonna blog about it, haha! Guess what I'm gonna blog about? yup, you guessed right! Personal Listening Styles!!! So what's your Personal Listening Style Flava? :>

1) Content-Oriented
This style is for people interested in facts. This is advantageous in those crazy Human Com lectures, where we have to listen to the content and facts Mr. Murali feeds us.

2) People-Oriented
Now this style is leaned towards emotions. This is good for therapists and teachers so they can understand a person more.

3) Action-Oriented
Soldiers and policemen need this the most for this style is based on tasks. A good ear and a fit body is needed for overcoming those tedious tasks.

4) Time-Oriented Listening
Students and teachers have to conform to this or they will die. This style is based on deadlines and how people should follow them. If we don't obey deadlines, we could get kicked out of school or even get fired from a job!

so yes, these are the four Personal Listening Styles. What is the best style you ask? well, if you ask me, we should posses all these styles in order to be a well oiled and fully-functional human being. A mixture of these styles is needed so we can transcend the boundaries of everyday life!

Anyway, here's the What's Your Flava video. I hate the song, but the video is pretty cool. A lot of good non-verbal communication. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory copied this vid!!! D:<

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKmoY20_6VQ&feature=related

Peace and Love :)>-