nonverbal communication

nonverbal communication can be defined as the communication in which messages are send and received through wordless messages.it can be either facial expressions, gestures, eye contacts, body language and also object communication such as clothing and hairstyle.research studies finds that a surprising 65% of the meaning conversational messages is communicated using non verbal clues. speech may also contain non verbal elements known as para language, including voice quality, speaking style, as well as prosodic features such as rhythm, intonation and stress. likewise, writing also have some non verbal elements such as writing styles, spacial arrangements of words and emoticons.

how does non verbal communication speak louder than words in a close relationship??
it takes more than words to create productive, safe, exciting and secure relationships. too often the signals we send are not the ones we intend to send. when this happens both connection and trust are lost in a relationship.

Ted, Arlene and Jack are all articulate speakers who say one thing but communicate another with disastrous results in their relationships.

Ted thought he had found the perfect love relationship when he met Sharon, but Sharon isn’t so sure. Ted is very eligible. He is nice-looking, hardworking, and a smooth talker. The trouble is that Ted seems to talk more to himself than to Sharon. When Sharon has something to say, Ted is ready with a reply before she finishes her thought. This makes Sharon feel ignored, and she has begun dating other men. Ted loses out at work for the same reason – his inability to listen to others makes him unpopular with many of the people he most admires.

Arlene is attractive and has no problem meeting eligible men – it’s keeping them that’s the problem! Arlene is funny and a good conversationalist, but even though she laughs and smiles constantly, she radiates tension. Arlene’s shoulders and eyebrows are noticeably raised, her voice is shrill and her body stiff to touch. Being around Arlene makes many people feel uncomfortable. Arlene has a lot going for her that is undercut by the discomfort she evokes in others.

Jack gets along with his colleagues at work, but not with those who matter most to him. If you were to ask them why, they would say that Jack is “too intense”. Rather than look at you, he devours you with his eyes. And if he takes your hand, he lunges to get it and then squeezes so hard it hurts. Jack is a caring guy but has a terrible time being in sync with people. This awkwardness also limits his ability to advance to a managerial level at work. He just isn’t seen as good with others.

All of these articulate, well-intended people struggle in their attempt to connect with others. None of them are aware of the nonverbal messages they communicate.