According to my second-hand and slightly vandalized Human Comm book, Empathic Listening is a method used when other people ask for solutions to personal predicaments. Empathic Listening can benefit both parties just coz when one simply listens, the relationship between the two improves one way or the other. As it turns out, there are a lot of different styles, each with their own advantages and disadvantages. Come with me as we explore these styles! weeeeee...
1) ADVISING
The gut instinct of everyone these days, when confronted by someone who needs help, is to give them advice. First of all, even before you give your advice, make sure you have a grasp on the situation. Make sure you got it 99.99% sure. Coz if you don't, trouble will be at the horizon. What sucks is the person you gave advice to might even blame you for the misfortune! So yes... be extra-extra careful. And one should always remember that if it works for one person, it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to work for the other. Always make sure too that you're giving the correct advice and he/she will accept it. Furthermore, when giving advice, make the person know that you're on his/her side by making sure your advice is constructive and not critical. Don't be like, "cacat your mind! This is what you should do..." be more like, "ohh man, well, here's what I think you should do..."
2) ANALYZING
Stop being judemental and be ANALYTICAL!!! coz we're cool like that.
Rephrase your troubled partner's thoughts in your own words in order to present some aspects he/she might've left out.
Like:
"She's just jealous coz..." or "Maybe what's really bothering you is..." or "He probably stabbed the pillow because..."
But again, be super-duper careful! Honestly. Make sure you really grasp the situation. For the person might get even more confused and go crazier! And even if you do get the situation, make sure your comment makes sense and it is useful.
3) QUESTIONING
Questioning can help clarify a lot of things. It shows that you can relate with the person and you're actually listening. You can also explore the emotions the problemed-person is feeling and come up with a better soultion. Just remember not to start a rucus by asking questions to satisfy your own curiosity. The person might get angrier, we wouldn't want that. Also, make sure the questions won't blur a person. Be sure that you're still talking about the same thing and don't go overboard. And last but not least, don't use questions to hide your own criticism. This is a snakey snakey move teachers pull off and we should just leave it to them, for they are the masters of deception and they know how and what they're doing.
4) PARAPHRASING
We all tirelessly learned this in Intermediate English and now we're finally gonna strut out what we've learned! yey! Paraphrasing is to change some words in a statement but still come out with the same idea (I've been using it throughout this blog, hehehe...) anyway, this is a very useful tool for it shows that we grasp the idea firmly and we can clarify it. If we've mistaken, the problemed-person will simply correct us and we will arrive to the real situation. However, if the person is looking for more information and not sorting out his/her feelings, then this method is pointless. You're just gonna drag him/her in circles. Also, make sure you have the time to paraphrase something because this method consumes a lot of time. Always remember too that you want to help someone and you can relate to him/her (detected: EMPATHY). Don't just satisyfy your own wants. Remember to make sure that you don't interject a judement in your paraphrasing as well. And finally, never ever overdo this. Don't be a sell-out X-( it gets pretty annoying sometimes, repeating the same thing over and over again. Balance, bro.
ALL RIGHT!!! If you're reading this part, you are an Empathic Listener and officially dubbed "cool." so put on those shutter shades and skinny jeans and start listening to people, cool cat B-)
Peace and Love :)>-
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